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Reader’s question

“Why do girls avoid me after a date?”

Question of the week :
I have a problem I need your help. I am able to get girls phone numbers but after we go on a date, she ignores my calls and she never calls me. This happened with too many girls. I am doing something wrong but I don’t know whats my mistake. I am not doing any hanky-panky during the date, I behave like a gentleman. Why do they suddenly lose interest after the date? Please help thanks.
-Bobby M, New Delhi

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My comments :

I hope your basic hygiene and grooming is ok. Women are quickly turned off by bad breath, body odour, nose hair and dirty nails.

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But even if you look and smell good, you’re probably making the most common mistake guys make during a date : playing too safe and not flirting enough.

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I often see guys on a date talk about their family, their college, their job, they’ll compliment her on her beauty, her dress… but they will hesitate to flirt with her.

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Guys think that by behaving “decent”, the girl will like them more than the other guys who flirted with her.

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Big mistake! Women find such guys BORING.

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When a man and a woman meet for the purpose of romance and the man does not take things forward by flirting with her, she gets uncomfortable. And she’ll usually avoid him for further romantic encounters. She may still keep him around as a friend to do her work or to pay her dinner bills or to cry on his shoulders when she has problems, but she’ll not treat him like a lover (which means, no sex!).

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A woman will never tell a man, “Ok, I am attracted to you, let’s get physical”. She expects the man to take the lead, flirt with her and move the interaction towards sex.

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And one of the most powerful ways of flirting is by using PUSH-PULL.

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Push-Pull is a technique by which you alternately push her away and pull her close, keeping her confused about whether you really like her or not.

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Examples of push-pull:
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  1. Tell her that you will take her out for coffee only if she dresses more hot.
    You’re PULLING her by expressing that you want to go out with her, but you’re PUSHING her away by laying down a condition. This is very different from most guys who ask her out for coffee without any conditions.
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  2. While entering a coffee shop, open the door for her but tease her for walking slower than your grandma.
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  3. In a restaurant, wipe food from the corner of her mouth while muttering that she’s embarrassing you with her clumsiness.
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  4. Look deep into her eyes and say “I love looking into your eyes. And you know what I love most about it…looking at my reflection in your eyes. I’m so hot no?”
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  5. Tell her that you want to take for a movie but you’re afraid she might take advantage of you in the darkness.
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  6. If she mentions that she likes chicken or any non-veg food, shake your head in disappointment and say that you had planned to kiss her but now that you know she eats “dead animals”, all kissing plans are cancelled until further notice.
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  7. Offer to give her your phone number but only if she promises not to call you 50 times a day.


You get the idea. Give out contrasting messages and keep her wondering whether you’re chasing her or if she’s chasing you.

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Next time you interact with a girl, whether in person, on the phone or through sms, use push-pull.

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Women love it. And it clearly communicates that you are a real man who knows how to take the interaction forward.

Please note : Push-Pull is to be administered with a smile. 🙂 She should have no doubt that you’re teasing her.

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