Reader’s question : “I got her number from her friend. Can I text her?”


Reader’s question:


So, one of my close friends who just happens to be a girl (don’t get the wrong idea) gave me the number of a girl I like. I want to text her but I don’t want to seem like a stalker who got her number without her permission. Should I text her or should I wait for the possibility that she gives it to me?

– Jeff (name changed), Bangalore



***My response***

You are right, she’ll find it super creepy that you got her number indirectly. In fact, if she’s hot, she will probably ignore all your calls and text messages. Hot babes ignore calls from numbers they don’t recognize, because they are used to random guys calling and texting them all the time.

But no, you should not “wait for the possibility” of her giving you her number. A real man does not wait for life to happen to him, he goes out and makes life happen.

So, now that you have her number, what’s the best you can do?

First, create attraction. Unless a girl is attracted to a guy, she will not enjoy receiving a call from him.

Here’s an idea.

Scribble her name and number on a piece of paper and keep it in your pocket.


(tel # above is hidden for privacy reasons)


Next time you see her, walk up and say…

You: “Hey, are you Aditi?”

She: “Yes, blah, blah”


Remove piece of paper from pocket, look at it and show it to her…

You: “Is this your number?”

She: “Yes, blah, blah”

You: “A friend of yours thinks you and I will look good together. She gave me your number and asked me to take you out for coffee.”


You: “….but I don’t call random girls. I wanted to talk to you first and make sure you are not weird or anything”

She: “blah, blah”

You: “Well, thank God you at least sound normal. I have been meeting too many psycho girls lately.”

She: “blah, blah”

You: “Listen, I wish I had the time to talk to you but I am going somewhere. Let me give you a missed call right now so you have my number and maybe we can talk later.”

Pause, look at her suspiciously.

You: “…but don’t call me 50 times a day just because you have my number!”

She: “No, I won’t, blah, blah”


Give her a missed call.

Tell her to save the number as Coffee maybe

High-five and leave.

Text her after a few hours (at least 5 hrs) or the next day.

She will now find your messages more attractive than if you had messaged her as a random stranger.

Note: the attraction may still not be so high that she will agree to go out with you. You may need to build more attraction for that to happen. Women don’t jump into bed that easily.

Don’t reveal that you are happy and excited just because she replies to your text message. That may make her lose the little attraction you have built. Trust me, been there, done that. 🙂

Continue to test, evaluate and qualify her, as if you are not yet totally impressed. Only then should you ask her out.



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