Question from reader :
I m giving all my details. I have a major problem. My name is Anthony (name changed) I m 5ft 9in tall medium build and complexion. My bad luck is I got acne vulgaris, luckily my face was not mostly effected by it but still it has left marks on my face. My chest and back are completely f**ked up with acne scars. I m goin under treatment now, I m a li’l fine but these scars and acne are decreasing my confidence. I m a good looking guy but these things are f**king me like hell !
Here’s the scene. I like a gal, 8-10 months back I fell in love with her. Not like love at 1st sight but after 3 months I felt she was my type of gal. I asked her what kind of guy she liked she said anyone who she loves. She didn’t have any problems with looks n $$ ! But after meeting her after 6 months I proposed her on FB, because I didn’t have the confidence to say it face to face. She said NO and gave the reason that she has a crush on a guy whom she wanna marry and all blah blah blah. And just 2 months after that she met a new guy frm our college but different class. The guy proposed her and she accepted his proposal but now she’s kind of bored with that guy. Also that guy is good looking and rich and the guy is spending too much and doing just like Shahid Kapoor in your blog post! Will this relation last long and can I still get this gal ? And why she said no to me, bcoz of my looks or bcoz of my fattu type proposal on FB? And in acne vulgaris condition how can I increase my confidence and in this condition can I get any gal ???
– Anthony, Mumbai
At the end of this mail, I have provided an acne solution that I know has worked for another client.
Ok, now about your dating question.
She rejected you, not because of your acne, but because you were acting needy.
You were needing her approval, needing her love, needing her to say YES.
Women don’t like needy men.
Women like men who DON’T need them, men who need nothing, men who are
having fun with what they have, men who are content with themselves.
Even before your ‘fattu type’ proposal on FB, you have done many things
which kept lowering her attraction for you.
Let me point them out one by one, from your own mail.
Mistake 1 : ” I asked her what kind of guy she liked…”
When you ask a girl that question, what she hears is this
“I am interested in you but I don’t think you’ll like me the way I am,
so tell me what kind of guy you like, so I can try to become that guy,
then maybe you’ll like me”
She gets the impression that you like her but believe that you don’t deserve her.
Letting her know that you like her is bad enough, but combined with a lack of
confidence it becomes doubly bad.
So what should you have done?
You shouldn’t care about what kind of guy she likes.
You should just be fun to hang out with. Go read this post right now and come back here.
Here’s an example of what you could’ve done.
When she replied to your question and said she likes guys who she loves,
you should have teased her immediately.
You should have pointed to the most dorky looking guy on the street and said,
“How about him, do you love him? Let me go ask him if he loves you, and maybe I
can get you guys married right now”.
Then you should have run up to the dorky guy, pointed in the girl’s direction and
asked something random like, “Did you see a bike parked there?” The guy will usually look
in her direction, shake his head and say “No” or “I don’t know” and walk away.
Then you walk back to the girl, shrug your shoulders and say, “Even that dorky guy
doesn’t love you, what do I do with you now?!”
Can you imagine what’s going on in the girl’s mind at this time?
“I don’t believe you did that!”
“What the hell… did you really ask the guy that?”
“How could you do that, are you nuts!”
“You are soooo bad, what must that man be thinking of me!”
“And how dare he say he doesn’t love me, the dork!”
“Oh my God, I can’t predict what Anthony will do next, I’d better watch out”
“There is never a dull moment when Anthony is around!”
“Anthony is fun!”
“I think…I am getting attracted to Anthony”
THAT is how you create attraction. By keeping her on her toes, by never being
predictable, by keeping her wondering about what will come next.
The next time you’re interacting with a girl, stop wondering about whether
she likes you, and instead keep HER wondering about what you’ll do next.
Mistake 2 : “…after 6 months I proposed her on FB”
That, my friend, proclaimed loud and clear that you are a man
And women are not attracted to such men. Period.
But don’t beat yourself up for it. Every single guy reading this blog
(and the guy writing it) has done something similar or worse when it
comes to interacting with women.
We have all been there, done that. Learn the lesson, dust yourself and move on.
So, can you still get the girl?
Frankly, I don’t think so.
Why not? Because, the way to get a girl is to NOT BE AFRAID of losing her.
But I find you’re still afraid. You still want her. You’re still waiting for her.
Like a sad little puppy dog waits for its master to give it some food.
Women play with puppy dogs, not f**k them.
Women want to f**k bold, confident, real men who are living a fun life without
waiting for a woman.
Bottomline : If you change the way you interact with women, it’ll be easier for you to
get 3 new hot girls than it is to get the old girl back. Because, the new girls don’t know
there used to be a sad puppy dog inside you. And the old girl can never forget that.
Before writing this reply I emailed a client who had suffered from severe acne and is now acne-free.
He uses an American product called Proactiv (which is a 3-step system) and he swears by it. It has to
be used continuously but apparently it works wonders. I have seen him with his acne and without.
This product works. Even though the product is sold over the counter, and anyone can probably
purchase it without a prescription, please know that I am NOT a doctor, so please consult your
dermatalogist before using it. Go to Amazon.com and search for Proactiv. I believe you can buy it
in India too, but given the many fake products in Indian markets, I suggest you take a good look at
the product on Amazon before purchasing it locally so you can be sure you’re getting the real thing.
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