A girl just sent me this message.
“I hv been missing u since u stopped calling… dnt kno wats wrong with me.
Y u came to me n y u walked off all of a sudden???”
I had approached her while she was browsing at a store.
We talked for a bit and I left with her phone number.
Later we exchanged a few messages and then we met once
(I took her window shopping for shirts “Hey, I’m going to pick up
some shirts, you want to come help me?”)
A few days after that, we met in a hotel room and had sex.
She was not a great lover, and her pillow talk was boring.
After the encounter, I gradually lost interest in her and
I gradually stopped calling and texting her.
Today, she sent me the above message.
So what are the lessons here :
- Attraction defies logic
This is a beautiful girl with lots of options with men.
But as soon as she felt attraction, it did not matter how many
guys were chasing her…she forgot them all, and focussed
only on me. Btw, I did not walk away “all of a sudden” as
she says. I did it gradually. Much more gradually than girls
do when they dump guys. 😉 She feels it was “sudden” because
the attraction level was so high.
- Only after she feels attraction can she think of sex
Most guys think about how to get physical before they have
created attraction. Bad idea. She can only feel a sexual desire
after she feels mentally attracted to you.
Btw, you may think that just because she agreed to meet in
a hotel room, she is a loose kind of girl. She is not. In fact,
at first she flatly refused to meet in a hotel. She found the
idea “sleazy”. But that was her good girl thinking. As I
engaged her bad girl side, she became more comfortable
with the idea.
- When you create attraction, you get to choose
I lost attraction for her soon after the encounter. She was
a lousy lover and I could not have an intelligent conversation
with her (at least one of those two things needs to happen
for me to stay interested in a girl).
Most guys would think I am crazy for being so choosy. Well,
when you have options, you can be choosy (just like girls are
choosy when they have options with guys). I can now choose
whether I want to see her once in a while, marry her, or just
move on and find somebody better.
Note : To some of the female readers of this blog who will now
scold me for “playing with a girl’s emotions”, please spare me
the drama. 🙂 The sms message the girl sent me is the SAME kind
of message that guys send when girls dump them.
When a girl loses attraction for a guy, she usually doesn’t give
a damn. She just moves on in search of a better guy.
Why can’t guys do the same?
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