Reader’s question : “Girls find me funny, but they only see me as FRIEND”



I have many beautiful colleagues as my ‘FRIEND’ … they all love my sense
of humour and all of them say that any girl will be lucky to have you…
but I don’t understand why someone else? Why not one of them ??

Regarding the jokes… if the girl is very comfortable with me.. I will crack
non-veg jokes very often… otherwise normal jokes.. and every girl has
different taste for jokes…one may like the other may or may not like
the same joke..

One example is… suppose i ping a female…

Me : hi
She : hi… kya hua
Me : mere padosi ko ladka hua..
(she was laughing madly)

And here’s a little non-veg kind of joke i cracked:

She : Yaar swimming pool ja ke mere legs tan ho gai hai
(she was pointing to her thighs. That day she was wearing a long knee length skirt)
Me: (i made a very serious expression looking at her thighs and said)
I don’t believe you…lemme see
(we both laughed after that)

Most of the girls have told me….that i have a very good sense of humour…
but… i just cant make a girl see me as a potential boyfriend. i am very confused.

– Karan (name changed), Mumbai



***My response***


Let’s look at the jokes you crack and the effect it
actually has on the women.


Here’s the first example you provided.


i ping a female…

Me : hi
She : hi… kya hua
Me : mere padosi ko ladka hua..
(she was laughing madly)


You texted her just to entertain her?

Well, here’s what that made her think…


“This guy texted me for no reason except to amuse me??!
Why?! What does he want from me?”


“Looks like he is not having fun in his life. He needs me
to have fun.”


“He seems to have a lot of time on his hands. Either he is
jobless or he has a boring life with no fun activities.”


“Looks like there are no women chasing him. If there were,
he wouldn’t have
the time to chase me.”


“Yeh mere peeche kyon pada hai? How do I get rid of him smoothly?”


“If I tell him to stop texting me, he may get offended, because men have
fragile egos. My friend Sonali said that to a guy once and he threatened
to throw acid on her face. Well, Karan is sweet, he’ll never be violent, 
he will still sulk, and that will make it uncomfortable for me when
I see him next time with common friends. 
So what do I do?!
maybe I’ll do what my friend Priyanka does. I could tell
him that 
OTHER girls would like him. That should give him a hint,
also massaging his ego.”


She is not thinking all this consciously, but at a subconscious level.

She is programmed by nature to think that way, she can’t help it.


Remember, sex is a big deal for a woman. If she has sex with a
low-value male, she could die. Yes, DIE!

Read this previous blog post Sex can kill a woman


Because you have displayed low-value qualities, she is not
attracted to you. So why did she laugh? Maybe she found the
joke funny, maybe she is being polite, or perhaps she is giggling
nervously. But there is NO attraction.


So, should you not randomly text a woman?

Of course you should. In fact, random texting is a great way to build attraction.

But you should do it in a way that displays high value characteristics.

Here’s how I text a woman randomly.


Me : “hey quick question. blue or peach?”
She : “peach”
Me : “cool”
She : “why? blah blah”


And I am gone!

I don’t even give a reason for the question, or a reason
why I am in such a rush.

Even if she texts back, I don’t reply. 

I am gone for a few hours.


So why is that attractive?

My text message makes her think these thoughts…


“Blue? Peach? What was that about???! I am curious.”


“He’s gone?! How dare he disappear without answering
my questions! Who does he think he is !”


“Every other guy wants to keep chatting nonstop.
But this guy wants nothing from me. He is different!”


“He must be a busy guy with a fun life. I need
some fun in my life. Maybe I need him!” 


“Whatever he is doing is obviously more fun than me,
otherwise he would have stayed and talked to me.”


“He does not need me to have fun????? 🙁 “


“I wonder why he asked about the colours? Was it a shirt
he was buying? Or curtains? Bathroom tiles? Is it for a dress?
Dress for me?! Dress for another girl????!! Is there another
girl? Is she prettier than me? Is he serious about her?”


“So did he pick the color I chose or did he pick the other one?” 


Now she looks forward to me texting, calling or meeting
her, and when I do, she will value it more than usual.



Now let’s look at the other joke you cracked.

She : “Yaar swimming pool ja ke mere legs tan ho gayee hai”
(she was pointing to her thighs. That day she was wearing a long knee length skirt)

: (i made a very serious expression looking at her thighs and said)

“I don’t believe you…lemme see”
(we both laughed after that) 


Most guys reading this blog post would found your line funny.

But to a girl, that is not funny. In fact, it’s a bit scary.

When you communicate that you are eager to see her legs,
you’re indirectly saying that you don’t get to see the female
body that often.

Which means women avoid getting naked in front of you.

Which means you are probably a low-value male.

She may laugh politely, but here are the thoughts she is thinking.


“I talk about my tan on my legs. He ignores the tan and focuses
on the ‘legs’. Hmm…”


Looks like, the guy has not seen a lot of female legs. I wonder why.”


“Hasn’t he been with a naked woman? Do women avoid
undressing when he is around? Do they find him creepy?”


“I don’t have the time to test him, but if other women avoid
him, let me give myself the benefit of doubt and avoid getting
intimate with him.”


Now let’s look at the same situation handled differently.
Below is the high-value way of responding to her comment.
She : “Yaar swimming pool ja ke mere legs tan ho gayee hai”

Me :  “Now please DO NOT open your dress and show me
your legs. Jeez!”
(I cover my eyes and look away as if I don’t want to look)

She : “I am not showing them to you….blah, blah”

Me : “I am really fed up of girls wanting to show me their body.
Why can’t girls just have a normal conversation with me? Why does
every interaction have to end up with her getting naked?!”
(I roll my eyes as if to show I am fed up of this happening)

She : “But I am not doing that….blah, blah”

Me : “Just because I am cute, does not mean you treat me
like a sex object! Can we please change the subject to something
else besides your legs? Uff… (I roll my eyes some more)


She will laugh, and here are the thoughts she is thinking.


“Why is he looking away? Does he find my legs a turn-off?!


“Maybe he is joking. Maybe not?”


“Maybe it’s the fat around my legs. I wonder if he noticed the fat!”


“Maybe he has women in his life whose legs are hotter? Does he
have another woman? Does he like her? Do I have a chance with him?”


I don’t have the time to test him. But if he already has hot women in
his life, then they must have tested him to check if he is a high value
male, so maybe I don’t need to test him. Perhaps I can get intimate
with him without needing to worry.”



And by the way, here’s something you said that provides a window
into your mind…


“… if the girl is very comfortable with me.. I will crack non-veg jokes
very often… otherwise normal jokes.. and every girl has 
different taste
for jokes…one may like the other may or may not like 
the same joke…”


You serve jokes based on the girl’s preference, not based on what
you enjoy. That’s the attitude of a waiter in a restaurant. And girls
don’t f**k waiters. 🙂


The female is not attracted to the male who waits for her to take
the lead, who waits for her to decide what joke he will crack. 

She wants a man who will go ahead and take the lead and crack
the joke HE wants.


Your eagerness to serve the girls what they want, makes them
see you as just a provider to keep around, not a lover who will
f**k their brains out.

Which is another reason they say things like
“any girl will be lucky to have you”.

What she really means to say is : “I don’t feel attracted to you, but
since you 
enjoy providing girls with what they want, I know many
girls who are 
looking for a guy to buy them gifts, listen to their
problems and pay 
their bills. They would love to have you as
one of their boyfriends.”


Sorry if that was tough to hear Karan, but as a wise man once said,
the truth shall set you free. 🙂


To summarize…

What’s the main difference between the your sense of humor and
that of an attractive man?

You try to amuse the girls. The attractive man amuses himself.

When you amuse girls, they find you funny and they laugh.
When you amuse yourself, they find you fun and are attracted.





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