I work in an office where thousands of its employees are connected through an internal chat system which helps in getting work done amongst themselves. How to have a good flirtatious chat with a colleague without being too pushy and also how to end the chat by getting a date.
– Ravi, Mumbai
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What you’re really asking is, “How do I have sex with my colleague without displaying any courage?”
And my response is : WHY would a woman have sex with a guy who has not displayed courage?
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All females (of all animal species) are programmed to be attracted only to males who demonstrate a confident personality. Don’t believe me? Watch Nat Geo/Discovery documentaries.
And chatting on the internet does NOT display confidence or personality.
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Here’s an example :
Suppose you see the girl you are interested in sitting in the company cafeteria with a group of friends.
Now, it takes some balls to sit on the opposite table and make eye contact with her.
It takes a little more balls to scribble a poem on a note and send it to her with the waiter.
It takes even more balls to get a common friend to introduce you to her.
It takes more balls than that to walk up and talk to her when her friends have left.
It takes the most balls to walk up and talk to her while she is with her friends.
My point is simple.
More balls you display, more you stand out, more the attraction.
Less balls you display, less you stand out, less the attraction.
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Chatting on the internet with a woman does not take balls.
That’s why guys who are timid mice in the real world often become roaring lions on chat. 🙂
Which makes it tough for a woman to tell if the guy is really a lion, based just on his chatting style.
In fact, being too good on chat could hurt you. Experience of many women have shown
them that guys who are the most timid in the real world, are the most bindaas during online chat.
And vice versa.
Experience has also shown women that guys who have an interesting life are out there
in the real world, doing stuff, not sitting in front of a computer monitor for hours.
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Try this : Next time you see her, walk up and talk to her.
If you don’t know what to say, just say “Hi”. And give her a genuine compliment.
If you can’t keep the conversation going, say “Hey, I wish I had the time to talk to you, but
I’m going somewhere. Tell you what, let me grab your number and maybe I’ll call you some time”
Then give her your phone as if expecting her to punch in the number. If she does, say
“Now don’t call me 50 times a day. I’ll call you”. Smile. This makes her more comfortable, and
she will value the interaction (and your number) more, and will increase the chances of her
reacting positively when you do call. Then say, “Hey, I have to go, see you later”. And leave.
If she doesn’t give you her number, say calmly “Why are you such a darpok?”
Roll your eyes, and say “Do you at least have email?”
If she says yes, hand her pen and paper.
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Next time she sees you on chat, she will see you as different from the 45 other guys in your
company who send her messages but will never walk up and talk. And any messages you
send her will stand out from the rest.
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Of course, don’t get stuck on chatting. You have to take the interaction forward, meet her,
build comfort, and then smoothly take things to the physical level.
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Look, the simple truth is that most guys don’t approach women.
That’s why the few guys who do approach, get most of the girls. Simple. 🙂
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p.s. By the way, I was one of those guys who only chatted with girls on the internet or at the
most, on the phone. I just did not have the balls to approach a woman I didn’t know. It’s only when
I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and started approaching women did I realize how magically
girls respond when you’re willing to do a little courage. If a total nerd like me could break through
the fear of approaching and talking to women, any man can!—————-
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p.p.s. Approaching a woman will not kill you. The worst that will happen is she will tell you she
is not interested. But trust me, she will secretly admire your balls, and so will her girl friends.
More important, you will sleep better that night, knowing that you took action like a real man.
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