The best way to explain a concept is with a real-life example.
Mindblowing good looks, fantastic dancer, amazing physique, successful
actor and single.
Everything a woman would want in a man, right?
Well, not quite.
Kareena dumped him. And my guess is, Priyanka will too.
Let’s learn from Shahid’s mistakes.
Watch the below video (this is when Shahid and Kareena were still a couple).
Watch at 7 min : 43 secs
Karan Johar : “How would you define your relationship?”
Shahid Kapur : “She is the center of my life…my life works around her…I can’t think
of a day without her in my life…I am very thankful to God for having her as a part of my life
and I’m very lucky that she has come into my life.”
Shahid’s mistakes : Never let a woman know for SURE that you like her. Always keep her
guessing. Even if she really is the center of your life don’t tell her that. In fact, communicate
the opposite. Make her feel that SHE is lucky to get you, and that you are the center of HER life
(don’t say it seriously, of course, but in a fun and teasing manner).
Notice Kareena’s body language as Shahid answers. She looks bored, there’s no anticipation,
no wondering about what he’ll say next; she knows exactly what his answer is going to be.
*yawn* This is not good for attraction.
How Shahid could have responded :
“Our relationship is about one lucky woman finding the man of her dreams. Truly, a fairy tale.”
Said with a cocky half-smile.
And how would that make Kareena react? It would make her gasp in shock, perhaps she’d
reach over and hit him on his arm in mock-anger. THAT is how you want to make women feel.
There are many other things in the video that make Shahid look unattractive to a quality woman.
Here are a few of them.
- He is sitting with his knees crossed, like a “good boy”. That’s how women sit, not men!
The masculine way of crossing legs is by putting your ankle on your knee or by sitting
with legs apart; the idea being that if you have a big ‘package’ between your legs , you
need to allow space for it.
- He laughs and blushes too much.
- Weak body language : He is sitting stiff, with a meek voice, has subdued gestures, occupying
minimal space. It’s as if he is afraid to disturb the universe. Instead he should be doing the
opposite…speak loudly, with bold gestures, moving his hands more freely, openly, widely,
he should be sitting comfortably, leaning back, with his right hand stretched over the couch.
A timid man is afraid to occupy space. A real man is not.
If so much is obvious in a 9 minute video, how much more would be obvious to the woman LIVING
with him. My guess is, Kareena was already losing attraction for Shahid when they came to the studio.
She may not have started seeing Saif yet, but Shahid was definitely on his way out.
Don’t miss their body language. They are seated with legs crossed away, a classic giveaway.
Couple of years later…
Shahid’s role in Kaminey increased his female fan following, and he realized that it
makes sense to maintain the bad boy persona that he played in the movie.
These days, in his interviews, he appears to be less of a good boy. His body language,
sense of dressing and way of talking has changed drastically. Good for him. That’s the way to go.
Unfortunately, scratch the surface, and we find there is still the weak, boring, wimpy guy that
made Kareena run away.
Watch the below video of Shahid and Priyanka in a recent episode of Koffee with Karan.
Watch at 13 min : 38 secs
After Shahid whines about Kareena not being friendly when they meet at functions, Karan
asks “Would you be happy if there would be a comfortable rapport between you and her?”
Shahid’s response : “We have spent 5 years of our life together, she was a very important
person in my life, it’s very important that you’re cordial and warm…that would be something
that I would be happy with but I don’t know whether it’s possible or not”
Shahid’s mistake : This is a huge, huge mistake by Shahid. With that one statement he has
shown the world that his happiness is STILL affected by Kareena’s actions.
We are affected by people who we think are higher value than us. When a beggar ignores you,
you are not affected because you think he is lower value. But when your boss ignores you,
you’re affected, because you consider him higher value.
And it’s not just Shahid’s words, even his body language shows that the issue is bothering him.
Notice how he’s leaning in while talking about the subject (not leaning back). Notice how animatedly
his hands move while he’s discussing it. This is the classic behaviour of a LOW VALUE male. And you
know what happens to low value males? Exactly. They get dumped.
Notice Priyanka’s body language as Shahid talks. She looks terribly uncomfortable. It’s the
discomfort of a woman who suddenly realizes that she is dating a low value male. You can
almost hear her telling herself, “Ok, time to dump this whiny little boy and find a real man”.
What Shahid could have done :
First, he should not have revealed the fact that he is still affected by Kareena.
And if Karan did bring up Kareena, Shahid could have responded in one of these ways :
“Kareena? Kareena who?” Cocky smile…and continue “She is my past, let’s move on”
Or he could point to Priyanka with both hands as if presenting a work of art, and say
“With a gorgeous woman like her in the room, why talk about anyone else?”
Not only would it have made Priyanka (his current girlfriend) feel great. It would have
made Kareena feel snubbed. Win-win!
If Shahid continues this low value behaviour, Priyanka will also leave him.
She may not do it as abruptly as Kareena did, because she is far too classy to do that.
But she will leave him sooner or later. A quality woman will not stay with a low value male. Period.
Here are the lessons we can learn from Shahid :
- Even if you’re head over heels in love with a girl, DO NOT make her the center of
your life. She should be just a part of your exciting life, not the center of it. As soon
as a woman is convinced that you’re in her pocket, you are no more a challenge for
her, and subconsciously, her antenna starts seeking a more challenging male.
- Women are attracted to a man’s personality more than his looks.
- A woman decides if a man is high value based on how easily he gets affected. Men who are
the most successful with women are the least affected by what happens around them.
- Watch your body language, it says more about your personality than your six-pack muscles,
your Armani blazer or your BMW coupe. To attract (and keep) women of high quality, you
need great body language.