Reader’s question : “I got her number from her friend. Can I text her?”

Reader’s question:


So, one of my close friends who just happens to be a girl (don’t get the wrong idea) gave me the number of a girl I like. I want to text her but I don’t want to seem like a stalker who got her number without her permission. Should I text her or should I wait for the possibility that she gives it to me?

– Jeff (name changed), Bangalore



***My response***

You are right, she will probably find it creepy that you got her number indirectly.


In fact, if she is a hot babe, she will ignore your call and your text messages, because she is so used to loser guys calling and texting her after finding her number indirectly.


But no, you should not “wait for the possibility” of her giving you her number. A real man does not wait for life to happen to him, he goes out and makes things happen.


So how should you proceed?


First, create attraction. Unless a girl is attracted to a guy, she will not enjoy receiving a call from him.

And how do you create attraction?

Here’s an idea.


Scribble her name and number on a piece of paper and keep it in your pocket.


(the above tel # is masked out for privacy reasons)


Next time you see her, walk up and say…


You : “Hey, are you Aditi?”


She : “Yes, blah, blah”


Remove piece of paper from pocket, look at it and show it to her…


You : “Is this your number?”


She : “Yes, blah, blah”


You : “A friend of yours thinks you and I should have coffee. She gave me your number and asked me to call you.”


“But I don’t call random girls. I wanted to talk to you first and make sure you are not weird or anything”


She : “blah, blah”


You : “Well, at least you sound normal. I have been meeting too many psycho girls lately.”


She : “blah, blah”


You : “Listen, I wish I had the time to talk to you but I am going somewhere. I will give you a missed call right now so you have my number and maybe we can talk later.”

Pause, look at her suspiciously

“But don’t call me 50 times a day just because you have my number!”


She : “No, I won’t, blah, blah”


Give her a missed call. Give her a high-five. And leave.

After a few hours, or the next day, start texting her.


She will now find your messages more valuable than messages coming from a random stranger because, now she feels some attraction for you.

Note : the attraction may still not be so high that she will agree to go out with you.

Women don’t jump into bed that easily.

You may need to build more attraction for that to happen.

So don’t show that you are happy and excited just because she replies to your text message. That may make her lose the little attraction you have built. Trust me, been there, done that. 🙂


Continue to test, evaluate and qualify her, as if you are not yet totally impressed. Then, and only then, should you ask her out.



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