Just ‘coffee’ is boring!
Earlier, guys asked girls out for “dinner” for the first date.
That became common after a while.
Then guys started asking girls out for “coffee”.
Coffee was better than dinner, takes less time, costs less money,
and it also appears less needy (if a man will commit an entire evening and
buy dinner for a girl he barely knows, he must be lonely or desperate).
But now, coffee has become common too.
Today if you ask a hot girl out for coffee she could actually lose some
attraction for you because of your lack of originality.
So what should you do to be different and display high value?
Here’s what I do.
I tell her that I am going to do an activity and she can join me.
Me : “I am going to check out the Cyrus Cylinder exhibition, you want to come along?”
She : Blah, blah
Me : “We can walk around and chat at the same time. And if you turn out to be boring
I can focus on the exhibition”
She : Blah, blah
Me : “You can hold my hand as we browse, if you insist. But just for 5 minutes, because
I hardly know you!”
In fact, this happened just today morning. And she was the one who suggested coffee.
Here’s how it started.
She : “You want to meet for coffee tomorrow?”
Me : “Coffee? Boring. *yawn*”
Me : “You need to think of more original ideas than coffee or this
relationship will not work out :(“
She : “Ok, so what do you want to do? :)”
Me : “Lazy bum…I have to think of everything!”
Me : “Ok, I am going to check out the Cyrus Cylinder exhibition on Tuesday, come with me.”
The gyaan behind the technique
When you say no to coffee, but invite her to an activity you’re planning
to do anyway, here’s what it communicates to her:
- I am a busy man, my time is precious, my calendar is full.
- I am not yet sure you’re worth spending dedicated time with
at a coffee shop. But I would like to know you better. Hang out
with me, prove to me that you are a cool chick, then perhaps
dedicated coffee time may happen.
- My schedule is always full. I am always out, doing stuff,
exploring, living an active life.
- I can meet you on Tuesday at 5 pm for an hour, if you join
me for an activity I am already planning to do. If you prove
to me that you’re a cool girl, maybe next time I will plan an
activity just for the two of us. If you turn out to be boring,
I will politely say goodbye to you after the event and not
call you again.
It need not even be some fancy event. You could just say “Hey, I am going
to pick up a shirt tomorrow. Come with me.”
Even if you don’t buy the shirt, and just do some window-shopping, that’s fine,
as long as she feels that she joined you for an activity that you had already
planned, and not specially planned for her.
After the event, you could say “Hey, I have 15 minutes free, let’s do a quick
coffee.” Now you’re doing the coffee that you wanted in the first place. 🙂
But in her mind, the coffee happened ‘by chance’, it wasn’t planned
specially for her.
Note : This girl wanted to meet me tomorrow. If I had agreed, shows that
I am available even at short notice, which means I have nothing going on in
my life, which means I must be a low-value person.
So I give her a date a few days later. Btw, I am really not free tomorrow,
because I am meeting a friend. But even if I was free, I would not meet her
tomorrow; definitely not for the first date. I would fake it, and pretend that I
am busy tomorrow. Fake it till you make it. 😉
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