Question from reader :

I had my First date end with kisses, I sent her a message next day saying, “I know it was late but…but hope everything is ok today. Hey, just want to say I had an excellent time. If u ever need anything or some1 to talk to, I am always here.”

I got a reply, “Thanks, I had gr8 time last night too  :) and thanks for the offer but i need someone to talk to on a date…so when are we going out next??” After a couple of more msgs, second date is scheduled on coming friday. Everything is happening fast. I m confused.

- Sagar, pune

——–

——-

***My response***

When a girl gets physical on the first date she often regrets it later.

She hopes she did not come across as too easy or fast. She wonders if the guy lost
respect for her. She usually does not have a good feeling about it the next day.

But you sent her a sweet and respectful message the following day. This calmed
her doubts, relaxed her and she had a good feeling about you.

But I want to warn you. Perhaps you are getting TOO sweet and respectable,
which might make her see you as just-a-friend and not as a lover.

Your message to her said, “If u ever need anything or some1 to talk to, I am always here.”

There are 3 reasons why this was not a great message to send:
————— 

1. It’s too serious, there’s no fun
   Your entire message is too serious and sentimental. It’s not fun.
   Girls want to have fun, they want to be with people who are fun, they want to
   get f**ked by guys who are fun. And one sure way to make it fun for a girl is to
   tease her about something. You could have sent her a message like,
   “Hey, stop thinking about me so much and focus on your work”
   —–
   ——
2. You’re going backwards instead of forward
   You’ve already kissed her. Now you need to escalate towards sex.
   She doesn’t need someone “to talk to”. She wants someone who will take her
   and f*ck her hard. Sure, women love a great conversation. But they love it
   even MORE with a man who knows how to take her and f*ck her hard. Even if
   you want to date her, marry her or get into a relationship with her, focus first
   on having sex with her.
   ————–
   Btw, did you notice that she replied “thanks for the offer but I need someone
   to talk to on a date”. Ha, ha, she does not want someone to talk to. She was
   following your lead. When you’re being the good boy who wants to “talk”, how
   could she be the slutty bitch who wants to f*ck. You took things backwards, and
   she followed you. If you had taken things forward, she would have followed you.
   Remember, man leads and woman follows.
   ————
   So how do you take things forward to sex? Just because you kissed her, it does not
   mean sex is the next step! You have to build comfort first.  Remember the 5 steps
   of the mating dance. Sex can almost never happen without some comfort first.
   Show her that you’re a fun guy, so she will be comfortable opening up, and seduction
   will be easier.
   ——–
   ————————
3. Women are not attracted to men who are “always there”
   Anything that’s easily available has no value. Never tell a woman “I am always
   there for you”. It shows that you have nothing going on in your life that keeps
   you busy. This is not attractive. Women want a man who is busy leading an
   active life and who is in fact, not always there for her.
   ———–

You sent her a weak message, but she still responded because there could be
other things about you she may be attracted to. Or maybe she’s a low-value
woman who does not have options with men and is easy to attract. Or maybe
you’re a damn good kisser. ;)

————-

Also you say, “…second date is scheduled on coming friday. Everything is
happening fast. I m confused”

You’re afraid you might screw up.

Only when we want something badly are we afraid we might screw up.

The solution : don’t want it badly.

Don’t put all your hopes on one woman.

There are lakhs of women like her in your city, no matter where you live.

In fact there are women hotter than her right down the street.

The only way to reduce this anxiety about losing a woman is to keep approaching
multiple women and take things forward to sex.

At any given time, you should have at least 3 to 4 women that you are texting and/or meeting.

This way you won’t care too much about what happens with any ONE particular woman.

Here are my tips for your Friday date :
———–

1. You kissed her on the first date, which already puts you far ahead of most guys.
   You’re already doing good. Now just go and have fun. Don’t treat the date like an
   interview where you have to win her approval. Instead treat it as if you’re
   interviewing her and SHE has to do all the right things or lose points. Example :
   As soon as you see her, go “Oh my God, is this the hottest dress you could find?
   Where’s the cleavage? Minus 10 points (then shake your head in mock disappointment
   as you enter the coffee shop and say) I don’t think this relationship is going to work out.”
   If she is a high quality woman, she’ll love it. If she is low self-esteem and gets upset,
   you can always say, “Hey come on, I was just teasing (then act as if you’re taking notes
   on your palm) Ok, she doesn’t have a sense of humor, minus 5 points” and then continue
   as if nothing’s the matter. Don’t focus on impressing her. Focus on having fun.
   For more ideas get the PocketPua.
   ——–
2.  She kissed you on the first date, so there is already some attraction. That’s great.
   Now build on it, by teasing her. Don’t give too many compliments. The ratio of
   teasing : compliments should be 90 : 10.
   ——–
3. Have a no-big-deal mindset. Whatever happens, treat it as no big deal. It’s very
   attractive to women.

———

Got a dating question? Click here

———

A friend forwarded me this moving article.  Please read it and
forward it to everybody you know.

——————————————————————————–
Lieutenant, did you die in vain?
http://bit.ly/z01joZ

——————————————————————————–

A dummies’ guide to getting physical with a
girl you’re sitting next to (example : in a movie theatre)

From the course material of the Real Man workshop

The most important thing to remember while getting physical with a girl is
to do it G-R-A-D-U-A-L-L-Y.

Women don’t like it if you rush it, or if you deviously plan it beforehand.

They like it best when it just happens.

Telling a woman, “Come over to my place and we’ll kiss” is not as appealing as
saying “Come over to my place and we’ll watch the DVD I was telling you about”.

She knows that watching the DVD might lead to kissing, but she prefers it
that way, when things just go with the flow.

So here is the step-by-step technique to get physical with a woman in a way that
makes her feel it just happened.

Inside the movie theater

1. Don’t ask where she wants to sit. Hold her by the hand and LEAD her to
   the seats of your choice. Place your hand on the small of her back as you walk
   to your seats, she’ll love that. If she lets go of your hand or takes your hand
   off her back (which rarely happens), no problem. Don’t apologize. Be cool.
   With women, it’s always better to do something gutsy and withdraw, than
   to be afraid of doing it.
   
   What just happened?
   By holding her hand and leading her to the seats of your choice, you have 
   demonstrated the ability to lead. Women are attracted to men who lead.
   ———————
   ——————-
2. As soon as you sit, sniff the air in her direction and say,
   “Mmmm…that smells good. Is that your shampoo or perfume?”
   
   She : “Shampoo, perfume, blah, blah”
   
   You : “Come here, let me see”
   ——–
   Part  her hair and smell the area of her neck below her ear.
   Let your nose and lips caress the area lightly as you smell. Take a deep breath
   and go “Mmmm…” as if you loved the fragrance.
   Then back off, lean back on your seat and continue watching the movie.
   
   What just happened?
   If  you simply ask her to come close without providing a reason, she may think you
   want to get physical (like a typical guy) and may refuse out of shyness. But you
   want her close only so you can check out her perfume, so she’s more likely to agree.
   As soon as your nose/lips touched her neck she thought you’re getting physical,
   but before she could object, you backed off. And now she’s confused. Why did
   he back off? Did he not like the fragrance? Do I have body odour? Does he
   not like me? Confusion is good for attraction.
   ———————
   ——————-
   
3. After about a minute, turn to her again and casually say,
   “Hey, how come you look taller than me?”
   Then compare heights by placing your palm once on your head and then
   on her’s, as if measuring the difference in heights.  Press on her head a couple
   of times and say, “Oh…it’s just your hair…it’s ballooned up and is making your
   head look bigger.”
   ———
   What just happened? You have initiated touching, without making her
   uncomfortable. And by suggesting that she has an abnormally sized head, you have
   lowered her value a bit, and raised your value relatively which is good for attraction.  ———————
   ——–
   ——-
   
4. With your hand still over her head, continue to feel her hair between  your fingers,
   lightly caressing against her scalp. Say “Your hair is quite soft. What shampoo do
   you use?”
   —–
   She :“Blah, blah”
   ——
   You (still playing with hair) : “Hmmm…nice”
   
   Gradually move your hand (while still playing with her hair) to the back of her head.
   As if accidentally, brush your fingers on the back of her neck, while still playing with
   her hair. Then, very lightly caress the back of her neck. How lightly? As lightly as a
   feather brushing across skin.
   ——-
   What just happened? You touched her for an apparently non-sexual reason.
   This allows her to be guilt-free, because it ‘just happened’. Women like it when
   touch begins non-sexually and then gradually becomes sexual.
   ———————
   ——————-
   
5. The back of the neck is one of her most erotic body parts. If she does not object to you
   caressing it for more than a few seconds*, she’s ready to be kissed. Pull her head close to
   you, gently suck her earlobes and kiss her neck. AVOID her lips for now. Then whisper
   into her ears, “You taste good” and then back off, and continue watching the movie.
   ————-
   What just happened? You touched one of her most intimate parts. But because you
   did it gradually she did not get a chance to object. But now you’re rubbing her neck,
   and she’s thinking, “that’s sexual, I’m supposed to object to that” But before she objects,
   you have backed off, leaving her confused. “Why did he stop? Did he not like touching me?
   Is my skin too rough? Why did he stop??” As you know, confusion is good for attraction.
   ——————–
   ——————-
6. After about 10 seconds, lean in and whisper into her ears,
   “I’m trying so hard not to kiss you right now”
   Then sit back and continue watching the movie.
   
   What just happened? When you lean in, she thinks you’re coming to kiss her again,
   and her defenses go up a bit, but then you just whisper into her ears and back off. This
   confuses her. She’s aroused. She wants you.
   ———————
   ——————-
7. After about 10 seconds, turn to her, gently pull her face close and
   kiss her on the mouth.

————————–

Image source : http://www.bollywoodworld.com/

When I coach clients, they often have excuses for not
going out and approaching women.

They say they will start approaching after a certain point in their life.

After they lose some weight.
After they build some muscles.
After they get that job promotion.
After they learn some dance moves.
After they buy that shiny new car.

If you’re one of those guys, I have news for you.

To attract women, you don’t need any of the above.

Don’t believe me? Here’s proof.

Hrithik Roshan.

Hrithik has EVERYTHING you’d expect a woman to be attracted to.

He is rich, famous, one of India’s biggest superstars.
He is tall, has Greek God looks and a perfect body.
He is a brilliant dancer and has a great fashion sense.

Everything a woman would want, right?

Well, not quite.

Women are NOT attracted to him.

His biggest fans have always been kids.*

And things just got worse : now GAYS are liking him a lot.
http://bit.ly/s5Wq6q

What went wrong?

Why is it that a man who is a “perfect hunk” on paper, cannot
attract women in real life?

Because in real life, Hrithik comes across as a weak man.

Watch any of his interviews and you’ll find him eager to please the
interviewer. He says all the right things, he avoids saying things that
might ruffle feathers, he smiles too much and nervously…in short, he
seems eager for the viewers’ approval.

Wanting people to like you is a sign of weakness. It turns women off.

Women are attracted to the opposite kind of men. Men who want nothing
from the world. Men who don’t care about what the world thinks of them.
Men who tread their own path,  whether or not the world approves.
Men who will do what pleases themselves, not what pleases the world.
Men who don’t give a f**k.

It’s no wonder Hrithik’s films are not doing well at the box-office.
At least not the ones where he plays the romantic lead.

—-

—-

What you can learn from Hrithik’s mistakes

Here’s what you can learn from Hrithik’s mistakes.
While it helps to have good looks, height, a great body, dancing skills,
wealth, fame, etc. it’s NOT enough to attract quality women.
What really attracts women is a man’s inner qualities.
Qualities like not giving a damn about what others think of you is
more attractive to her than outer qualities like a great body or money.

———

The next time you see a cute girl and think that she may not like
you because you are not tall enough, rich enough, good looking
enough or muscular enough…think Hrithik Roshan and approach!

* When Kaho Na Pyaar Hai (his first film) released, he did attract a huge
female fan following. But that was before they got to know the man behind
the star. Thanks to talk shows and interviews, people got to know the
real Hrithik, and soon his female fan following dwindled.

Why kids like Hrithik : Kids don’t watch talk shows and interviews.
They watch movies and get influenced by the characters portrayed on
screen. Hrithik’s roles in Koi Mil Gaya and Krissh appealed to the sense
of fantasy in kids and they liked him. Just as they like their plastic
superhero toys, plastic sports cars, and Playstation game characters,
none of which are real.

Why gays like Hrithik : Gays are MEN! And as we know, men go
only for LOOKS (whether in women or in men!).

———————————————————————————————————-

Got a dating question? Click here

Question from reader :

I loved a girl ..she also loved me..one day I  kissed that girl and she co-operated with me for the kiss..but after that she said to me, “I dont like this type of behaviour, I didn’t know you are that type of bad person”.. and she rejected me and stopped calling me or taking my calls…one day i called her and she said “Don’t call me again, I have fallen in love with another boy”…then she said to me simply “I want to leave you”….I asked her why and she just said “I hate that kissing”…now what I should do..she is studying in intermediate..was she too young to enjoy the kiss or is the problem something else?  plz tell me sir…..what should i do..I want that girl.

- Harris, Hyderabad

——–

——-

——-

***My response***

——-

My guess is, either you have bad breath or you are a bad kisser.

Or both.

——-

Most guys think kissing is just a small step on the way to getting
inside a girl’s pants.

Actually it’s a CRITICAL step.

It can make or break your chances of having sex.

——-

Women have told me they sometimes decide to sleep with a guy
but after just 1 kiss, they get turned off and  come up with an
excuse. “I have a boyfriend” she says, or “You’re a good friend,
lets not spoil our friendship.”

Or in extreme cases (like in your case) she even ends the relationship.

Sometimes the opposite happens. A woman decides she’ll only
kiss the guy and not proceed further. But the way he kisses her
makes her lose all control and she wants to have sex with him.

———

That’s why we don’t just teach how to attract women at our workshops,
but also how to make love to them (including kissing lessons).

—————

Here are the top Do’s & Don’ts about being a good kisser :

——————————

Do’s & Don’ts of being a good kisser
————

• At first, let her lead
  The biggest mistakes men make with the first kiss is: they move too
  aggressively, too intimately, too fast.  Start gently, wait for her to
  invite you in. If she kisses gently, you kiss gently too. As she increases
  the intensity, you do the same. She leads, you follow.
  ———-

• Don’t be in a hurry to insert tongue
  Don’t shove your entire tongue into her mouth at the start. Sexually
  ignorant guys do that. At first only touch your lips to her lips. After
  she is aroused, lightly lick her lower lip and if she parts her lips in
  response, then slide your tongue in, but just a bit. If she welcomes your
  tongue by opening her mouth wider, slide more of the tongue in. But if
  she does not open her mouth wider, back off, continue kissing the outside
  of her lips. And try again later.
  ————

• Avoid bad breath
  It’s the no.1 mood killer for women! If you’re not sure of your breath,
  pop a mint in your mouth before you kiss (in fact, even if you’re sure
  of your breath, pop a mint).
  ————–

• Avoid drooling
  Another kissing turn-off for women is when a man slobbers all over her
  with his saliva. Make sure your mouth is not overly wet. If it is, swallow
  your saliva before kissing.
  ———–

• Hold her head like a man
  A sensual way to kiss a woman is to hold her head and neck in such a way
  that her head relaxes into your hands. It’s a masculine gesture, it’s like
  taking charge of the moment, and women are turned on by that.
  ————

• Don’t plan ahead, stay in the moment
  For men a kiss is just a step that takes him closer to sex. But for a woman,
  a kiss can be complete by itself, she can be fulfilled by just a great kiss.
  Even if you’re kissing with the hope of getting inside her pants, don’t make
  it obvious. Women can tell when a man is scheming his next “move” as he
  kisses her. Enjoy the moment.  Enjoy the kiss for the kiss itself without
  expecting to go further, and it will help you actually get further. ;)
  ————

• Advanced tip : delay the kiss
  A good move before you start kissing her is to show that you’re in no
  hurry. Gently push any hair out of her face; it makes her feel that you
  really want to see all of her face, which makes her feel good and more
  responsive to your kiss. Another idea is to tell her, “I won’t kiss you,
  I’ll just smell you” then smell her face and neck with your nose and lips
  grazing (barely!) her skin, while you whisper, “Mmmm, you smell good”.
  Then, when she’s really aroused, you start kissing her.

————–

About the girl you’re interested in, my frank advice :  forget her and move on.

A woman doesn’t forget (or forgive) a bad kiss.

Don’t worry, there’s plenty more fish in the sea.

—————————-

———

Got a dating question? Click here

———

——

————

Question from reader :

Hi I am madly in love with a girl. But there is this Academic barrier that is holding me back to ask her out, she is my neighbor she talks to me but when ever she meets I only keep on staring at her like a dumb guy and don’t know what to say! I just can’t understand how to express my feelings to her and tell that how much she means to me. But somehow I managed to ask her for her number, which she gave me. I sent her a message but she has not replied. Now I don’t know how to take things further. :( Please help me I’ll be really GRATEFUL to you.

- Sam, mumbai

——–

——-

——-

***My response***

——-

If you’ve been following this blog you would know that you should NEVER
“express your feelings” or tell a girl “how much she means” to you.

N-E-V-E-R.

——

If you have feelings for her,  SHOW her, don’t TELL her.

Mooch her neck, fondle her breasts, pin her down and f**k her hard.

SHOW with actions that you like her, don’t TELL with words.

Of course you can’t do this until you first attract her and get close.

——-

You asked me for help on how to take things forward on the phone.

But from your mail it seems you don’t understand the BASICS of attraction.

Look, I cannot just give you magic WORDS to tell her.

If you don’t understand WHY the words work, they WON’T work.

Read my previous posts to understand the basics.

———-

Also you have not provided sufficient info. Like, how did you get her
number, what exactly did you say? What exactly was the message
you sent her? Dude, without sufficient data, I cannot help.

Anybody sending me a question, please provide as much info as possible.
Unless I fully understand your situation I cannot help you.

Attend this upcoming teleseminar, ask me your question live on the phone,
get an instant solution to your dating problem.

——-

We have time for one more question. Next question please!

——-

—-

Question from reader :

Hey Shiva, I used to live in a small town, where everybody knew everybody. Hence it was difficult to approach girls, as its in my head that she’ll discuss with other girls that I approached, and that’s not good for my future approaches. The other problem is when I did get a chance and approached, a lot of girls were nervous/socially awkward (I’m fairly good looking). So I thought ok fine, lets see if I can change city, I did change the city, but this new place is still small, and more conservative with a different language, hence more difficult to open. And its in a guy’s head that if other guys saw me approaching, they’ll beat me up. In my hometown I had friends, so was less fearful, only social fear, but here there’s a physical danger too. The town is in Maharashtra, so any way to improve upon the situation, or do I have to go to Pune every Sunday?

- B, Ahmednagar

——–

——-

——-

***My response***

——-

Here’s the plain truth.

If you want options with women, you HAVE TO APPROACH.

No ifs, no buts, no maybes.

It doesn’t matter if people are watching or they know you or
gossip about you or beat you up or whatever…

You have to approach.

Hey, can’t you risk some beating in the quest for a soulmate?

Come on!

———–

And now for the good news.

———–

• Good news 1 : Even if a girl is not interested in talking to you, or
  she has a boyfriend or is married, she is almost always flattered that
  you approached her; even if she does not show it.
  ————–
• Good news 2 : Just because you approach a girl, people will not
  assume you’re flirting with her. Example : If you approach a girl to
  ask for directions,  will bystanders think you’re hitting on her?
  Would you be scared they’ll beat you up? Would you be worried
  that people will gossip about you?  Of course not. People’s response
  depends on the girl’s response. If she reacts in disgust, people get
  concerned and may intervene. But if she responds positively,
  people assume you know her, and they get back to their busy
  lives leaving you both alone.

  ——————-

In our bootcamps, we start with a conversation opener that
intrigues the girls, that makes them laugh, and makes them
want to talk to us.

Of course, there will always be women who don’t talk to us and
walk away, but none of them (NOT A SINGLE one of them) gets
disgusted or horrified. They simply walk away, often flattered
that we approached.

So we never* have a situation where the girl gets offended or
creates a scene.

——–

So, that’s what you have to do. Approach in a way that makes the girl
respond positively. At least make sure she doesn’t react with
disgust or recoils in horror.

——-

Keep these basics in mind  :

• Approach with a smile. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel like
  smiling, just fake it, she won’t know the difference.
  ——-
• Approach over your shoulder. Don’t approach face to face, it
  makes women very uncomfortable. Approach over your shoulder,
  and face her only after she begins responding, not before.
  ——-
• Come from a fun place. The mistake most guys make is appear
  serious while they approach, as if they need the girl to bring fun into
  his life. This creeps the girl out. Before you approach, she should see
  you already having fun, either laughing with friends or into your phone.

—————-

Use one of the many openers I have shared on this blog.

Make her laugh. Tease her a bit. Then say, you have to go,
and ask for her number or email address.

Remember, all you need to do is collect her contact details.
Don’t tell her you like her, or that she is cute, or that you have
feelings for her etc.

Just collect her contacts and leave.

Then take things forward on the phone without anybody in
the world knowing what’s going on.

————–

* Btw, if a girl does ever create a scene, it’s because of HER issues.
She may be on psychiatric drugs,  she could have self-esteem
issues, she could have a suspicious boyfriend who has a detective
following her all over and she wants the detective to ‘see’ that she
did not enjoy the interaction…whatever…it’s not our problem,
we just say “Pleasure meeting you” and move on.

—————————-

———

Got a dating question? Click here

———

——

Question from reader :

Hi Shiva, thanks for your great tips. They have really helped me to reach from the ditch to the top. But I still have couple of hesitations ( I know you would say forget about them). I can talk to girls who are friends of my friends, flirt with them and I’ve been able to sleep with some of them.

But when it comes to girls who are 1) working in my office  or 2) girls who are already in relationship, I cant talk to them.  About office colleagues I know that I have to work with them so if things wont work out it will be awkward, and about the girls who are already in relationship should I make move when they are already engaged. If your answer is yes then please give me a simple example.

- A.A., Mumbai——–
——-

——-

***My response***

——-

So you can talk to women, create attraction and have sex with them.

That’s awesome.

——-

But you’re reluctant to do it with female colleagues at work. That’s
probably a good thing. An office affair is not a great idea. If things go
bad and you are no more a couple, it’s usually awkward interacting
with her. And that affects the company’s productivity. Not cool.

———-

My advice : flirt with your female colleagues, make them attracted to
you, but don’t sleep with them. Just use them for practice.

In fact it’s easy to practice your game on a woman that you don’t want
to sleep with. Wanting nothing from a woman is a great mindset to have
while running game.

You could also go out with her and meet her girlfriends, and get a whole
new set of women to play with. ;)

You could also take along one of your single guy friends and set him up
with your female colleague while you run your game on her girlfriends
(of course, make sure you teach him some attraction basics first).

Another fun thing to do is tell your female colleague, “We need to find
you a cool boyfriend” then take her to a club* and play a game of
matchmaking. She points out a hot guy and you bring him over and help
them meet (girls have approach anxiety too).  Then you switch, and she
brings over the hottie you point out.

——–

About girls who are engaged to be married.

Wtf  dude?! You have the skill to talk yourself into single girls’ panties.
But you’re more interested in girls who are engaged?!

Now you’re being the TYPICAL male : less interested in the girls you can get
and more interested in that ONE girl who is a challenge.

Get over it. Don’t play with the emotions of a girl who is committed to a guy,
when you’re clearly not serious about her. It’ll just be bad karma all around.

Why go after women in a relationship, when there are plenty of quality
single girls.

Remember, this is a skill that gives you great power. And with great
power comes great responsibility.

———

—————————-

We could have a bootcamp in Afghanistan.

——

We could approach hotties like these.

———-

———-

We could flirt with them, create attraction and have instant
dates at coffee shops.

———

And if we can’t get them to our hotel rooms immediately,
we could at least get their phone numbers.

——

There’s just one little problem though.

——

We would have to do some explaining to these gentlemen.

———-

———-

So, umm, no bootcamps in Afghanistan for, er, now.

——-

But if you’d like a Real Man Bootcamp anywhere else in the world,
write to us here and we just might announce it!

——–

Announcing winter Bootcamps in
Bangalore, Delhi and Mumbai.

Click here for details and to register

Limited seats, act fast!

————

———

Announcing winter Bootcamps in Bangalore,
Delhi and Mumbai (request your city)

Learn to approach women anytime, anywhere

————

———

Click here for details and to register

Limited seats, act fast!

——————————————————————————————-

Request a bootcamp in your city : Click here

——-

———-

When you go out with a girl, carry a knife.

———

Carrying a weapon says a few things about you that are great for attraction.

———

• It says you probably live a dangerous life; and that
  intrigues her. Intrigue and mystery is good for attraction.
  ———
• It says you have the courage to fight the bad guys.
  ———
• It says you’re willing to take risks.
  ———
• It says you protect your loved ones.
  ———
• It makes her feel safe with you.

———

Every high-value male in the history of the world has always
carried some physical weapon on his person.

———

These powerful leaders hardly ever needed a personal weapon because
they had an army of bodyguards protecting them all the time.

But they realized the importance of a weapon to project an alpha, high-value persona.

———

If you think times have changed, and we live in a safer world now,
open any newspaper and browse the Crimes section.

———

Remember this recent crime that shocked us all? http://bit.ly/ptHgrc

If even one of the 4 victims had carried a weapon, all 4 of them would
have been alive today.

—–

In most of the crimes, the victims are unarmed and totally vulnerable.
When faced with a threatening situation, just reaching into your pocket
and bringing out a weapon (any weapon, any size) is usually enough to
make the attacker back off.

——–

When you’re out with a girl it’s your responsibility to protect her.

Carry a little knife. And let her casually know that you’re carrying one.

Tell her you always carry one, to protect your friends and loved ones.

If she asks to see it say, “it’s not a toy”,  and continue with the conversation.

If she insists, take it out, show it to her and put it back calmly.

Then continue with the conversation as if it’s no big deal.

This will increase her attraction for you.

———

It could also save your life.

——–

I hear Sajid and Jacqueline are now an item.

———

Photo © www.entertainment.oneindia.in/

—————

I also hear that Sajid has become over-protective of her,
taking her away to his van in between shots.

Not good.

——–
I also hear that people on the sets of Sajid’s film shoot
refer to her as “bhaabi”.

Not good at all.

———

And now I  hear he has met her parents to discuss their marriage.

Ouch!

———

These are the classic signs of a weak man.

He puts beautiful women on a pedestal and treats them as extra-special.
He becomes over-protective of her. He won’t get physical with her because
he doesn’t want her to think he is like all the other guys (he wants her to
think he is different!). And he focuses on building a relationship with
her (girlfriend, marriage etc.) because he thinks that’s the only way he
can get to have sex with her.

———

My gut-feel says they have not had sex. Not even kissed.

———

You may think women prefer men like these, who avoid getting physical.

Truth is, women run away from such men.

——-

It makes a woman uncomfortable when you don’t have
sex with her and YET treat her as extra-special.

In fact, what keeps a woman attracted is when you do the
opposite : have mindblowing sex with her without treating
her as extra-special.

——-

My guess is Jacqueline will leave Sajid soon.

——-

You probably think this one is an easy prediction to make.

After all Sajid is butt-ugly and Jacqueline is gorgeous.

——–

But a guy doesn’t have to be good looking to attract a beautiful girl.

If you’ve been following this blog you’d know this already.

——

And here’s more proof.

———-

Would  you believe the woman on the left would be attracted to the sack
of potatoes on the right ? (and no, that’s not his package,  it’s the lower half
of his paunch).

——-

Stunningly gorgeous Sridevi, in the prime of her youth and fame could have
married any of the scores of young, single, Indian business tycoons who
were wooing her from all over the world.

——-

Yet, she fell head over heels in love with a butt-ugly, fat, balding,
already-married Boney Kapoor.

And became his wife!

———-

Boney Kapoor did not need great looks to get Sridevi because
he understood attraction.

————

But Sajid doesn’t.

———

Jacqueline will dump Sajid not because he is ugly.

But because he does not understand attraction.

——-

———

——

Question from reader :

Hey Shiva, this is Sameer (name changed). I want to ask you about
how to attract a woman, not a girl. Actually she is older than me, I m
just 23 and she is 32 or 35 may be. So I want to attract that woman.
She looks amazing and I see her riding her Activa scooter, not regularly
but sometimes. I just want to attract her towards myself. So please
guide me how to attract her towards me. I just love her.

- Sameer, Patiala

——–

——-

——-

***My response***

——-

Your only interaction with her has been watching her ride her scooter.

You haven’t talked to her, you don’t know if she is intelligent, if she
is loyal, if she has body odour or bad breath, if she has diseases,
if she is interesting to talk to, if she is from a good family, or even if
she is mentally stable.

——

You know nothing about her. And yet you “love” her already??!

You know what says about you?

It says you’re a lonely, desperate loser, with no women, no fun,
no friends, and nothing going on in your life.

Nothing personal Sameer, I’m only telling you what’s obvious.

—–

And if that’s obvious to me (just from your mail) how much more
obvious would it be to that woman when she sees you stare at her
like a sad puppy dog.

——–

So my question to you : why should a beautiful woman like her
be attracted to a lonely, desperate loser like you?

–

Think about that.

Of all the men she can be with, why should she be with you?

——–

Women are not attracted to desperate losers with no women.

Women are attracted to confident winners who have multiple women.

——-

So what should you do?

—–

You have to let her know that you’re a confident, interesting man with
a choice of women in your life. You have to communicate to her that
you are intrigued by her but not yet sure if you like her.

———

Here’s what you could do.

• First, stop falling in “love” with women before they prove
  that they are worthy of your love.
  ——-
• Next, stop staring at her like a hungry puppy dog. Whenever
  she sees you, you should be having fun, laughing with your
  friends or into your cell phone.
  —————
• Talk to her. The next time you see her coming by, wave
  her down. When she stops…
  ——–
  You : “Hey, I have a quick question, very important. I am
  thinking of getting a tattoo. Do you think it’ll look hotter on
  my arm or on my wrist?” Ask with bold, confident
  body-language and voice.
  
  She (confused) : “Uh…”

  You (smiling) : “Actually… I just wanted to talk to you. I see you
  all the time on your phat-phatee and you look cute from a
  distance. And I wanted to see how you look up close” *pause*
  “And you’re not bad!”
  
  She : “Blah, blah…”
  
  You (smiling) : “I am Sameer. What’s your name?”
  
  She : “Blah, blah…”
  
  You : “Listen, I wish I had the time to talk to you, but I have to go.
  But I think…*pause*….I want to talk to you again. Let me quickly
  grab your number and I’ll give you a call later. If you sound fun on
  the phone, maybe we could hang out” (take out your cellphone and
  wait for her to give you her number)
  ———–

• Then take things forward on the phone.
  And by the way, address her only as PhatPhatee, not by her real name.
  Example: If you’re sending her an sms, say Hey PhatPhatee, thinking of me? ;)

———-

———

I know what you’re thinking.

So what?
———
Whether you get the girl or not is not important.

What’s important is that you TAKE ACTION.

Karm kar, phal ki chinta chhod.

——

If you take action, there is at least a chance that she will stop
the scooter, at least a chance that she will answer your question,
at least a chance that she will give you her number, at least a
chance that you two will get together.

But if you don’t take action, there is NO CHANCE.
You can spend all your life staring at her but nothing will happen.

———

———

Many guys believe they cannot have sex with a woman until
they are first in a committed relationship with her.

—–

They think they have to first woo her, buy her gifts, take her out
to dinners, convince her of what great husband-material he is and
listen to her problems till early in the morning before they can
hope to get physical with her.

———

And more high quality the woman (beautiful, intelligent and
from a good family), the more strongly guys feel the need to
have a relationship first and sex later.

—–

Wrong thinking.

—–

Women love sex and enjoy having casual sex with a
chilled out, confident guy who will not judge them for it.

Yes, even beautiful high-quality women from good families.

Yes, even virgins.

—–

In fact if you focus on building a relationship first and postpone
sex, it makes her think sex is a big deal for you.

And guess what, it becomes a big deal for her too and sex gets
further delayed.

—-

Remember, sex is a perfectly normal activity in nature.

Males and females of every animal and bird species have sex.

And the lion doesn’t wait until he is in a relationship with the
lioness to have sex with her. And it’s always the lion who makes
the first move.

———–

So when you delay sex, you’re behaving abnormal.

And this makes her uneasy.

She’ll want to move away from you. Our natural instincts make us
want to move away from abnormal people.

——-

In other words, she’ll want to dump you.

—-

So focus on having sex before you get into a relationship. This will
not only make sex happen sooner, you will also be in charge of
where to take the relationship (girlfriend, lover or wife).

———-

Important disclaimer!

Focussing on sex first does NOT mean being desperate for sex.

In fact, it means the opposite.

It means you think sex is no big deal.

It means you’re choosy about who to have sex with.

It means you believe you’re the prize and women chase you
(not the other way round).

———

————

The Real Man Workshop

2-day workshop that teaches the art of
attracting & making love to women

Mumbai (September 24 & 25)

———–

There is one big difference I see between guys who
easily learn how to approach women and guys who
find it tough.

——-

The guys who find it easy, don’t give a damn about
whether they get the girl. They are in it for the adventure,
the gamesmanship.

——-

But the guys who find it tough to approach, usually care too
much about the outcome, they worry too much about whether
or not they will get the girl.

———-

When you care too much about the outcome, when you are
too concerned about what will happen, you’re unable to relax,
you stop having fun, and you send out a needy vibe. Girls can
feel this vibe, and it makes them run!

——-

On the other hand, when you don’t care if you get the girl,
and you put out a I’m-just-having-fun-I-don’t-care -what-happens
attitude, you put out a non-needy vibe, which is attractive,
and girls feel drawn to you.

—–

The Bhagavad Gita says the same thing

Remember the principal character from the Bhagavad Gita?
The cool dude who advocated outcome-independence? Who
exhorted Arjuna to do the work without being attached to the
fruits of his actions?

——–

He was not too bad with the chicks, was he?

——-

———

Nothing.

Just calmly continue the conversation, as if it’s no big deal.

And after some time, go for the kiss again.

——-

Why this works:

Women will often reject your kiss the first time because it’s
not easy for a woman to get physical with a man.

—–

This is an opportunity for you to show that you understand,
that you’re a high value male, that you come from abundance,
that you don’t get frustrated when a woman refuses your kiss,
that you think it’s no big deal.

—–

The it’s-no-big-deal mindset in a man is very attractive to women.

—–

In fact, you actually have a better chance of kissing a woman AFTER
she refuses your kiss, than before.

—–

———

This is from a real conversation that happened a couple of days back.

——————

Girl : “Is saal main Ganapati ghar laa rahi hoon”

Translation : This year I’m bringing home a Ganapati

——

Most guys will respond to that with some thing like this…

“How many days are you keeping it? Blah, blah…” Or…

“Wow, you’re lucky, you’ll get lots of blessings, blah, blah…” Or…

“When are you inviting me for the darshan? blah, blah…” etc…

—–

But the man who understands attraction will respond with
something like this…

“Of course, aap ne itne paap kiye hain, aap ko toh Ganapati
lana hi padega” (Translation : Of course, you are such a sinner,
you have no choice but to get Ganapati home)

——–

If the girl responds with mock shock, and denies being a sinner, some men
will back off and say, “Hee, hee, just kidding, don’t mind it” etc.

But the truly attractive man will amp up the teasing further,
“Balkee ek Ganapati se kuchh nahin hoga. Aap ke paap ka bhandaar
itna bhar gaya hain, kum se kum 15 Ganapati toh lane padengey aap ko”
(Translation: In fact just 1 Ganapati won’t do. Your pot of sin has so
overflowed, you will need to get at least 15 Ganapatis)

———

Why this works
Every woman has a good girl and bad girl side to her. But most men
only talk to the good girl side. They put her on a pedestal and treat her
like a goddess. This makes her hesitate to let her guard down and be herself;
she’s afraid she’ll be judged for being naughty. But the man who acknowledges
a woman’s bad girl side in a fun way, makes her feel at ease. She feels relaxed
that you won’t judge her, that you’re OK with her being a bad girl. And what
does that do? It encourages her to bring out even more of her bad girl side
when she is with you. Which I’m sure you won’t mind. ;)

————

—————-

—————

——–

When most guys run out of conversation material they fall back on
the interview style conversation. What movies have you seen
lately? What music do you like? Where do you work? How many
siblings are you? etc…

This puts the burden of the conversation on the woman.

It’s a sure sign of nervousness. And women know it.

—————

Here’s a tip.-

Even if you want to do the interview style conversation, do it with
a twist. Instead of asking a question, make a statement.

—————

Example: If you feel like asking “What movies have you seen lately?”,
say “I can guess what movie you saw lately”.

This is a lot more interesting for her to respond to.

She : “What?”

You : “Delhi Belly… because I am sure you love movies with lots of gaalis.
You just seem like such a tapori.”

And you’re in conversation!

—————

Instead of asking, “Where do you work?”, turn that into a statement and say,
“You look like an accountant. You just have that munimji vibe about you.
You’re an accountant right?” She’ll react with mock shock and will want
to know what about her gives out the munimji vibe.

And you’re in conversation!

—————

Instead of asking, “How many siblings are you?”  say, ”You look like you’re
the only child. You have no brothers or sisters”.
She : “Why do you say that?
You : “You just seem like such a spoilt brat”

And you’re in conversation!

—————

Next time you feel like asking a question, turn it into a statement.

That way you carry the onus of the conversation, which is very
attractive to women.

————

For great conversation material designed to spike attraction, get the PocketPua.

————

Question from reader :

Hey, I m a good looking guy planning to be a model. My main problem is I have too much ego problem. According to me girls should approach me first because I m so good looking. At the same time I am nervous to approach girls. Every girl I talk to puts me in the  friend zone . They say “I love u as a friend”. I feel like banging my head on a wall..I m literally pissed off and frustrated.

- P.K., Saharanpur

——–

——-

——-

***My response***

——-

Understand this important difference between men and women.

—-

Men are attracted to looks. Women are attracted to confidence.

—-

When a man sees beautiful breasts, he is attracted and ready to
have sex with the owner of the breasts. But when a woman sees
a man with a great body, she is NOT attracted, just intrigued.
Only after she hears him talk and sees him move with confidence,
can she decide if she is attracted.

—-

Why is that?

—-

Why do women give more importance to confidence than good looks?

——–

I’ll explain. Listen carefully.

————–

For thousands of years we lived in the jungle. Our deepest instincts
are still shaped by our life in the jungle. When a woman gets pregnant in
the jungle, she needs her man to go out, hunt and bring food for her
and her baby. She needs a man who will protect her from enemy tribes and
wild animals. She needs a man who has the strength to build a house for
her protection. In short, she needs a confident and strong man.

————–

In the jungle, a good looking man who is unable to hunt for food is useless.
His woman and baby will starve to death. Even if he has six-pack abs, but
no courage to fight enemies and wild animals, she and her baby could
get killed. Even if he looks cute but is unable to build a house for her and her
baby, they could get killed by exposure to sun and rain.

——

That’s why women feel no attraction for handsome hunks who will stare
from a distance but have no courage to approach.

—-

That’s why women are attracted to men who may be short, fat and ugly
but have the courage to approach and talk to them.

Because in the jungle, courage in a partner is more useful for her survival
than good looks.

——

The girls you talk to see you as a friend and not as a lover. But you have not
mentioned what do you talk to them about, what are the things you say?
Remember, when you send me a question, provide as much information as
possible. My guess is you’re relying on your good looks to create attraction.
That doesn’t work with women. A man has to actively flip a woman’s attraction
switches to make her see him as a lover.

————

————————————————————————————————–

———

Got a dating question? Click here

———–

LAST SEAT!
Just 1 seat left in the bootcamp of August 26- 28.
Learn the art of approaching and attracting women, anywhere.

———

———

———

—————————-

——–

After getting a woman’s number, most guys will call
the next day and try to take things further.

——

He’ll try to fix up a date for coffee or dinner, or he’ll invite her
to an event, or for a long drive. In some way or the other he’ll try
to escalate things so that he gets to meet her soon.

——

Don’t do that. Don’t be in a hurry to hang out with her.

It communicates all the wrong things about you. It says…

——

• That you have no women in your life
  If you already have gorgeous, high-quality, fun girls in your life,
  why would you actively make plans to hang out with a random girl
  you just met?
  ——–
• That you’re not choosy
  Why would you be so eager to hang out with a girl you barely know?
  Why are  you not selective about who you spend time with? Is it because
  you have no options?
  ——–
• That you have too much time on your hands
  If you are already leading a fun and exciting life, why would you put aside your
  valuable time and energy for a girl who has not yet proven to be fun and exciting?
  ——–
• That you’re just average
  By calling her and trying to set up a meeting immediately, you’re doing exactly
  what the last 12 guys before you did. You’re just like the rest. You’re average.
  ——–

———-

So… what should you do when you first call her?

• Make her laugh without wanting anything from her.
• Demonstrate high value.
• Let her know about some fun activity you’re going to do
  and DON’T invite her.
• Say “I’ve to go, talk to you later” and *click* disconnect.

——

Here’s what I usually do on my first call.

Me : Heyyyyy, do you have a twin sister?

She : Uh..what?

Me : I was on my way back from the gym and I saw this
girl who looked exactly like you! Do you have a twin?

She : No, blah, blah…

Me : *phew* Thank goodness. I can barely handle one
of you, no way I can handle two!

She : laughs, blah, blah…

Me : So do you work out?

She : Yes, no, blah…

Me : (if she says yes) Wow, you have a tight ass?
(if she says no) So you have a paunch?! Oh no!

She : Blah, blah…

Me : You know what, I’d let you take me out for coffee,
but I’m not sure you’re smart enough to hang out with me.

She : Blah, blah…

Me : Ok, fine let me test your intelligence to see if you’re
really smart or just a buddhoo.

Then give her the buddhoo test.  She’ll usually fail.*

Me : OMG, you failed the buddhoo test?! I don’t think this
relationship is going to work out. You know, I am going for this
show at the Comedy Store on Saturday, I thought I’d take you along…
but now…NO WAY!

She : Laughs, blah…

Me : Hey, I have to take another call, I will call you back.

*Click, disconnect*

Then, I don’t call her back.

——

—–

Be the guy who is different from the rest.

Don’t be average.

Average men don’t get laid.

At least not by quality women.

——

——

* If she passes the buddhoo test (which rarely happens), just say
“Respect! You know, you seemed like a buddhoo when I first met
you, but NOW I’m kinda curious about you”

——

——